emotional health

Mailbag: Weird Prayers, Prayer Walks and What Would Jesus Pray

Brief Overview:

In this final episode in our month long series on prayer, Matt and Tal answer five of questions they are most frequently asked questions church leaders have about prayer:


Your Questions About Prayer:

  1. When is the best time to pray?

  2. What resources on prayer do you recommend the most?

  3. How do I fit everything in that I need to pray for?

  4. Any recommendations on corporate prayer meetings?

  5. What do we think of [approach to prayer that you don’t like]?

What Sex Teaches Pastors About Prayer

Brief Overview

In this second episode focused on prayer, Matt and Tal talk about people’s desire for intimacy, what sex teaches pastors about prayer, and answer questions about counseling and praying for people where sexual attraction is felt or possible.

Big Ideas From This Episode

·         Everyone craves intimacy - to know and be known

·         Intimacy and sex are not the same thing

·         Misused sex is a form of false intimacy

·         One vital way to recover true intimacy is through prayer

·         When pastors don’t pray for their people, we leave them more vulnerable to pursuing false forms of intimacy

Five Reasons Why Pastors Don't Pray

Brief Overview

Our work as pastors is profoundly spiritual yet when it comes to prayer, most pastors aren’t putting in the work. What’s going on? Here’s what we’ve seen and heard in our personal experience and in our coaching program with other pastors:


Why Don’t Pastors Pray?

  1. We don’t believe prayerlessness is a sin.

  2. We think we’re smarter than pastors from previous generations.

  3. We skip over parts of the New Testament where prayer is the priority.

  4. We think we have the power to change people.

  5. We don’t know how to pray.

What Else?

After you listen to the podcast, take 10 minutes to pray and write down what’s going on today that makes it so hard for you to pray.

10 Questions Smart Leaders Ask About Coaching

Brief Overview

All month long, we’ve been talking about the benefits of hiring a coach. This week, we’re answering your questions to help you make fully informed decisions: 

Questions Answered In This Episode

  • Why has coaching for pastors become so popular?

  • Is there research to back the benefits of coaching?

  • What’s the difference between counseling and coaching?

  • What’s the best question to ask a prospective coach?

  • Why doesn’t coaching work for some people?

  • How does Five Factors Coaching work?

  • What’s unique about Five Factors Coaching?

  • Who is Five Factors Coaching designed to help?

  • What kind of commitment is involved with Five Factors Coaching?

  • Why did y’all start Five Factors Coaching?

The Secret of Great Coaching

Brief Overview

When ministry leaders hire a coach, what should they be looking for? Certification helps but in the same way that seminary degrees can’t guarantee the effectiveness of a pastor, coaching certification doesn’t tell you what you really need to know. If you want to hire a great coach, look for these three priorities in their coaching:


Priorities of Great Coaches:

  • Clarity - Great coaches help you focus and establish goals where it matters most.

  • Momentum - Great coaches have a clear path of success that leads you where you want to go.

  • Results - Great coaches help you reach your goals that keep you leading well for a long time.

Resources

How To Find The Right Coach For You

Brief Overview

“Is that coaching?” “No, that’s not coaching.” “Here’s what coaching looks like.” This is the conversation among church leaders when it comes to coaching, and it’s largely unhelpful. The truth is there are three primary ways to coach leaders and you should choose the approach that is most helpful to you right now.

 

Types of Coaches:

  • Mentor - Coaches who have been successful where you are struggling. Priority is on information that shows you how they achieved success.

  • Pastor - Coaches who care for you as you lead. Priority is on confirmation of God’s love for you and his calling on your life.

  • Trainer - Coaches who put you in the best position to succeed. Priority is on their dedication to helping your reach your goals.

Here Are 5 Life-Changing Benefits of Hiring A Coach

Brief Overview

Call them mentors, trainers, coaches - we all have people who have helped us grow into the best versions of ourselves in different parts of life. But far too many leaders don’t have coaches, leaving them operating at less than full capacity. So in this episode, Matt and Tal talk about the life-changing benefits of coaching and why the smart move for you is to hire a coach. 

Benefits of Coaching:

  • Great coaches slow you down. Your life is moving fast. Your coach should create space for you to take the time to look around and see what’s happening in your life and leadership.

  • Great coaches help you focus. You can’t work on everything today, so your coach should help you determine what matters most right now. 

  • Great coaches lock out shame. Your coach should proactively ask how they can help you.

  • Great coaches keep you honest. Your coach should help you know your limitations and what to do when you’ve bitten off more than you can chew.

  • Great coaches play the long game. Your coach should help you clarify and take the next right step in your life and leadership. 

No Leader Has Ever Been Encouraged Too Much

Biggest Takeaways You Don't Want To Miss:

  • Words matter. Every leader needs to know they’re making a difference. You’re not crazy for wanting to hear particular words about how you make the world better.
  • Discouragement is deadly. Pay attention to the warning signs of discouragement. It’s one thing to have a bad day, but when every day is a bad day…
  • Developing courage is a project. Dive into the reasons you feel discouraged. And do the work to get your feet under you and be the leader God created you to be. 

Let us help you build courage. Matt will help you take action.

It’s simply not enough to know that it’s important to lead with courage. You have to take what you know and put it into action. Let us help you take the awareness that you built by listening to this episode and take action.  Learn more here.

Secret #5 - How To Drama-Proof Your Holidays, Workplace and Everyday Life

Biggest Takeaways You Don't Want To Miss:

  • Know your role. When conflict erupts, are you the perpetrator or victim? And if you aren’t directly part of the conflict, help the people involved to understand their roles.
  • Take a step forward. Both the victim and perpetrator need to clarify how old they feel during the conflict and take a physical step towards responsibility.
  • Decide on a better future. Once apologies have been made and tensions have de-escalated, brainstorm options together. Then negotiate and work with each other until you decide how to move forward. 

Are Your Relationships Healthy?

Guest post by Tal Prince.

We have all sat through some roll calls in our life, and the more formal authority figures sometimes required us to respond, “present.” 

What did you mean when you answered? Did you mean that you were fully there, or did you mean that you were merely physically in the room? 

For most of us, we meant we were physically there, but that was about it.

Is that true for you during staff meetings and lunches with friends? Is it sometimes true in your marriage or with your children? 

It is so easy these days to be physically present, but mentally and emotionally distracted. Of all the shortages we have in our world, we are not suffering a shortage for distraction.

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