healthy leadership

Mailbag: Weird Prayers, Prayer Walks and What Would Jesus Pray

Brief Overview:

In this final episode in our month long series on prayer, Matt and Tal answer five of questions they are most frequently asked questions church leaders have about prayer:


Your Questions About Prayer:

  1. When is the best time to pray?

  2. What resources on prayer do you recommend the most?

  3. How do I fit everything in that I need to pray for?

  4. Any recommendations on corporate prayer meetings?

  5. What do we think of [approach to prayer that you don’t like]?

Five Reasons Why Pastors Don't Pray

Brief Overview

Our work as pastors is profoundly spiritual yet when it comes to prayer, most pastors aren’t putting in the work. What’s going on? Here’s what we’ve seen and heard in our personal experience and in our coaching program with other pastors:


Why Don’t Pastors Pray?

  1. We don’t believe prayerlessness is a sin.

  2. We think we’re smarter than pastors from previous generations.

  3. We skip over parts of the New Testament where prayer is the priority.

  4. We think we have the power to change people.

  5. We don’t know how to pray.

What Else?

After you listen to the podcast, take 10 minutes to pray and write down what’s going on today that makes it so hard for you to pray.

The Secret of Great Coaching

Brief Overview

When ministry leaders hire a coach, what should they be looking for? Certification helps but in the same way that seminary degrees can’t guarantee the effectiveness of a pastor, coaching certification doesn’t tell you what you really need to know. If you want to hire a great coach, look for these three priorities in their coaching:


Priorities of Great Coaches:

  • Clarity - Great coaches help you focus and establish goals where it matters most.

  • Momentum - Great coaches have a clear path of success that leads you where you want to go.

  • Results - Great coaches help you reach your goals that keep you leading well for a long time.

Resources

How To Find The Right Coach For You

Brief Overview

“Is that coaching?” “No, that’s not coaching.” “Here’s what coaching looks like.” This is the conversation among church leaders when it comes to coaching, and it’s largely unhelpful. The truth is there are three primary ways to coach leaders and you should choose the approach that is most helpful to you right now.

 

Types of Coaches:

  • Mentor - Coaches who have been successful where you are struggling. Priority is on information that shows you how they achieved success.

  • Pastor - Coaches who care for you as you lead. Priority is on confirmation of God’s love for you and his calling on your life.

  • Trainer - Coaches who put you in the best position to succeed. Priority is on their dedication to helping your reach your goals.

Choose Health Over Hustle: A Masterclass On Getting The Most Out Of Work

Ever feel like you’re not hearing the whole truth about the benefits of hard work?

In my (Tal) work as a therapist, I tend to hear things differently than other people. I spend almost as much time listening to what is not being said as I do to what is being said. Here’s a great example - when a client walks into my office, I start with very complex question; you know something along the lines of “How’s it going?”

When you ask that question, what are some of the top answers you receive? What is your quick, unedited response to that question? I can tell you that the most frequent answer I get is, “Man, I’m busy.” Is that how you would respond?

How's Work Going?

Brief Overview

Church leaders aren’t scared to work but struggle to do their best work. We feel guilty for not working harder, we’re frustrated that we’re not better at certain aspects of our work, and we feel like everyone else in our church thinks we don’t work hard enough. On this episode of the Five Factors podcast, Matt and Tal tackle those struggles head on and map out a better way to work.


Big Ideas:

  • The secret to great work is a leader who embraces their limits. Too many church leaders are always available, do work that belongs to someone else and are consistently distracted. Smart leaders create boundaries, priorities and focus on what matters most.

  • Audit your schedule. Make sure you’re clear on how much work you’re doing by tracking how your time is spent for a week. How many hours did you work? What exactly did you do during those hours? What did you accomplish at the end of the day?

  • Ask other leaders about their work. Ask five leaders in your church about their work. What time do they start and stop? How do they create boundaries, priorities and focus in their work?

Secret #3 - Healthy Leaders Finish The Year Well

Biggest Takeaways You Don't Want To Miss:

The holidays and the end of a year are unique seasons in the life of a leader. So much of our struggle as leaders stems from our failure to set an intention for our work, our family and our health. 

Secret #2 - Healthy Leaders Know How They Feel

Biggest Takeaways You Don't Want To Miss:

Focus on incremental change in your emotional vocabulary and the emotional vocabulary of your family and team. Use the feelings wheel to get a baseline - how well do you know how you feel? And then keep using the feelings wheel in meetings, interpersonal interaction and for yourself and watch what happens when you take small steps towards a better future.

Secret #1 - Healthy Leaders Are Flexible

Biggest Takeaways You Don't Want To Miss:

5F Podcast 3: Resilience

Some leaders have a high level of natural, God-given, intuitive, emotional intelligence. They know how they feel and they understand how others feel. They can build connections based on those feelings, and everyone is the better for it.

I (Matt) did not receive that particular gift under the leadership Christmas tree. I went to school for more than 20 years, and nobody told me that emotional intelligence was more important than 10th-grade geometry. Talking about feelings wasn’t something that happened in my house growing up.

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