relational health

Mailbag: Weird Prayers, Prayer Walks and What Would Jesus Pray

Brief Overview:

In this final episode in our month long series on prayer, Matt and Tal answer five of questions they are most frequently asked questions church leaders have about prayer:


Your Questions About Prayer:

  1. When is the best time to pray?

  2. What resources on prayer do you recommend the most?

  3. How do I fit everything in that I need to pray for?

  4. Any recommendations on corporate prayer meetings?

  5. What do we think of [approach to prayer that you don’t like]?

What Sex Teaches Pastors About Prayer

Brief Overview

In this second episode focused on prayer, Matt and Tal talk about people’s desire for intimacy, what sex teaches pastors about prayer, and answer questions about counseling and praying for people where sexual attraction is felt or possible.

Big Ideas From This Episode

·         Everyone craves intimacy - to know and be known

·         Intimacy and sex are not the same thing

·         Misused sex is a form of false intimacy

·         One vital way to recover true intimacy is through prayer

·         When pastors don’t pray for their people, we leave them more vulnerable to pursuing false forms of intimacy

10 Questions Smart Leaders Ask About Coaching

Brief Overview

All month long, we’ve been talking about the benefits of hiring a coach. This week, we’re answering your questions to help you make fully informed decisions: 

Questions Answered In This Episode

  • Why has coaching for pastors become so popular?

  • Is there research to back the benefits of coaching?

  • What’s the difference between counseling and coaching?

  • What’s the best question to ask a prospective coach?

  • Why doesn’t coaching work for some people?

  • How does Five Factors Coaching work?

  • What’s unique about Five Factors Coaching?

  • Who is Five Factors Coaching designed to help?

  • What kind of commitment is involved with Five Factors Coaching?

  • Why did y’all start Five Factors Coaching?

The Secret of Great Coaching

Brief Overview

When ministry leaders hire a coach, what should they be looking for? Certification helps but in the same way that seminary degrees can’t guarantee the effectiveness of a pastor, coaching certification doesn’t tell you what you really need to know. If you want to hire a great coach, look for these three priorities in their coaching:


Priorities of Great Coaches:

  • Clarity - Great coaches help you focus and establish goals where it matters most.

  • Momentum - Great coaches have a clear path of success that leads you where you want to go.

  • Results - Great coaches help you reach your goals that keep you leading well for a long time.

Resources

Here Are 5 Life-Changing Benefits of Hiring A Coach

Brief Overview

Call them mentors, trainers, coaches - we all have people who have helped us grow into the best versions of ourselves in different parts of life. But far too many leaders don’t have coaches, leaving them operating at less than full capacity. So in this episode, Matt and Tal talk about the life-changing benefits of coaching and why the smart move for you is to hire a coach. 

Benefits of Coaching:

  • Great coaches slow you down. Your life is moving fast. Your coach should create space for you to take the time to look around and see what’s happening in your life and leadership.

  • Great coaches help you focus. You can’t work on everything today, so your coach should help you determine what matters most right now. 

  • Great coaches lock out shame. Your coach should proactively ask how they can help you.

  • Great coaches keep you honest. Your coach should help you know your limitations and what to do when you’ve bitten off more than you can chew.

  • Great coaches play the long game. Your coach should help you clarify and take the next right step in your life and leadership. 

Secret #5 - How To Drama-Proof Your Holidays, Workplace and Everyday Life

Biggest Takeaways You Don't Want To Miss:

  • Know your role. When conflict erupts, are you the perpetrator or victim? And if you aren’t directly part of the conflict, help the people involved to understand their roles.
  • Take a step forward. Both the victim and perpetrator need to clarify how old they feel during the conflict and take a physical step towards responsibility.
  • Decide on a better future. Once apologies have been made and tensions have de-escalated, brainstorm options together. Then negotiate and work with each other until you decide how to move forward. 

Secret #4 - Creating a Healthy Sexual Culture in Your Church

Biggest Takeaways You Don't Want To Miss:

  • Your church is sexually broken. That not only refers to our sin and sinfulness related to sexual activity, it encompasses any and every self-centered thought, feeling or behavior. If you want to create a sexually healthy culture in your church, prioritize healthy relationships and don’t get hung up on sexual activity (but leave some room to talk about that, too!). 
  • Don't reduce sexuality to sexual activity. “Spirituality is how we connect with God; sexuality is how we connect with each other.” 
  • Develop a vision for healthy sexuality in your church. Clarify the expectations we should have in our relationships. Repent whenever and wherever sexuality devolves into selfishness and self-centeredness. Rebuild wise boundaries in the places God puts you.

When you commit sexual sin, take action. Don’t fool yourself into thinking your habits are going to change on their own. Repent, believe the gospel and get help. 

#6: Friends and Family - Don't Discount Your Relationships

Healthy relationships begin with you. Leaders are surrounded by distractions at the office, on their phone and in the world around them. Those distractions make it difficult to gain clarity about what's going on inside of your head and heart.

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